I've always yearned for the will to become a vegetarian, but being the food-lover I am, I've never even tried. But I'm a huge animal lover, so I've also felt hypocritical about the fact that I eat meat. Today I went on the PETA website and started clicking around. I frequently receive their emails, but I'm embarrassed to admit - I usually delete the messages before even opening. It's not because I don't care or feel I have more important things to do with my time. It's because I'm a wimp. It breaks my heart to read detailed accounts about how circuses beat their elephants or how monkeys kept in labs go insane. I know it happens, but I can't bear to know every gory detail.

I don't know what possessed me today, but I sat through a 12:34 extremely disturbing and graphic video on the PETA website that detailed everything that happens to chickens, cattle, cows and pigs across America. Needless to say, I sobbed through the entire thing. There were some especially gruesome parts that made me cover my eyes, but I forced myself to open my eyes and watch.

No, I'm not a masochist. But I needed a big push toward doing something I believe I should have done a long time ago.

I know this is going to be hard for me, and I pray that I can succeed, but starting today -- I will not be eating meat. After some time has passed, I plan to also eliminate poultry. Wish me luck.