I just read the Pioneer Woman's post about how she fell off her picnic table after it unceremoniously broke, and became inspired to write about one of my many clumsy moments.

Several years ago, my aunt and I got tickets to see Movin' Out, the jukebox musical featuring Billy Joel's songs. We're both huge fans, and were beyond excited for the night. The musical was at the Jackie Gleason Theatre in Miami Beach. For those of you unfamiliar with Miami Beach, this theatre happens to be in an extremely busy area. It's next to the convention center, Lincoln Road (heavily trafficked by tourists and locals alike) and pretty much smack in the middle of lots of action.

It was a little chilly that night. This means Miami folk like to take advantage of the few "cold" days a year and bring out our winter gear. So I wore boots. New high-heeled boots. New high-heeled boots that I hadn't realized were slippery.

We were running a little late, which was of course my fault. My aunt is extremely punctual. Her punctuality annoys me and my perpetual ten-minutes late tardiness annoys her even more.

We parked across the street with just a few minutes to spare. When we got to the intersection we had to cross, the light was about to turn red. So what does she do? Rather than wait for the next light, she grabs me by the hand and yanks me into the street, yelling, "Run! We're going to be late!"

I, a non-athlete, was completely unprepared for this sudden burst of cardio, so I kind of let her drag me before my legs started moving. I guess this combination of factors led my right knee to great confusion, because it simply gave out on me.

I tumbled to the asphalt, my purse went flying three feet to my left....and cue: oncoming traffic. My aunt always, always tells people, "If you ever fall in front of me, do not count on me to help you up because I will be too busy laughing hysterically." Um, she wasn't kidding. I had to quickly shove my various cosmetics, sunglasses, wallet, cellphone, and God-knows-what-else back into my purse while attempting to get up without getting pummeled by a Miami driver.

The worst part was we were right in front of the theatre. This means a lot of our fellow audience members witnessed the entire debacle. While I was purchasing drinks, while I was in the bathroom and while I was trying to find my seat, I had people asking me, "Are you OK? We saw you fall. That looked awful."

Sheer and utter embarrassment.